This speaks of intentionality and the purpose of setting goals. Sounds downright elementary but sometimes, going back to the basics and keeping the foundations simple is not just necessary at certain junctures but more difficult every time you come back to it.

I’ve just turned 50 last month and wondered about writing a piece that would commemorate the date, the time, the people and the journey thus far. Mid way through 100. Who would have thought 6 years ago that I would have the honor of living till now, especially considering so many of my compatriots and friends have left first.

Sure I think I made some reflections, had some thoughts, but I really had nothing to prove or to say. Nothing of significance that i felt I could give the world or at the very least, the ones around me. And I’ve learnt by now that I’m not rushing. If there’s nothing good to say, don’t say it for the sake of it. Certainly not in this age of always on media.

Something, however, did shift. I visited Dr Tay two weeks ago. The essence, he reiterated that I was essentially cured. That I didn’t even need to be scanned that often and certainly not with MRIs or PET-CT scans. The most he might do within the next few years would be an ultrasound. Non-invasive and no radiation.

The last 5 years have been tight surveillance over the cancer areas. NED in 2021 mean that I could ease off the scans. From every 3 months to 6 and 9 months then one year. I was getting a little nervous more than that. So for Dr Tay to say that I did not have to scan as often meant a lot. It meant I could go from a live by the moment because I was not sure how long I would live to Live by the moment AND for the future because I was likely to live longer. Not forever mind you, best guess? Perhaps 10 to 15 years. By which time, Jacob would be 19 and Jerome 17. Those danged teenage years. I’ll be there to bail them out, sort out their shit, drive them home and worry about themselves driving ME home.

So it does feel like the timeline has been reset somewhat. Which is liberating and scary at the same time. I wasn’t sure if I would live past the last few years. Was it a death wish? No. But it was almost like a superpower. Because of limited time, I had to maximise my time, encounters with people and would put up with much less bullshit.

Another thing that perhaps cancer patients don’t talk about. Playing the C Card. Sure I wield it and wave it as a joke most of the times. But ever since I was told to advocate for myself and be selfish for once, well, we take that shit seriously. And believed the hype. And why not? We were dying. So cancer can be a mental crutch. It could even make people feel more entitled than ever before. As if the world had to bend to them because of cancer. Because you could never understand what we go through. Because the chemo, surgery or radio was so devastatingly difficult and painful, you need to clear the pathway for us and give up your seat.

I’m cured. As a cancer survivor, or X-Cancer; there’s nothing I can hide behind anymore. I should be fitter, stronger, outlast and outrun/ swim those around me. If cancer has taught me anything, it’s that I need to look after myself better. That’s for sure. Just not at the expense of those around me. And yes, I still need to advocate for myself…. And those around me. Because I survived, that means I have meaning and need to transmute and spread meaning to others. With empathy and understanding.

We who have seen the grave, must strengthen the living.

And so I cannot hide behind cancer anymore. It was an affliction, a bump in the road, heck a sink hole for a while. But I was saved from it and I thrive still. With a loving wife, two healthy kids, a healthy family and a team with a legacy. So …

What’s Next?

What’s next is to set goals. to be intentional about what I want in life and out of life. In the spheres of self, my wife, family, the wider family, my company and society at large.

It might sound all altruistic, but it has to flow from self. A strong and healthy self. We only have 24 hours and it’s a matter of proportion and priorities. So set the northstar.

That’s what i shall attempt over the next few hours.

One thing is certain, I work better with some level of structure, paragraphing, segmentation. And because my memory can be better (Look into that!), I need the tools to help me with putting the important things in front of me. So I know what to focus on, any given day. it will be different every day as we assume different roles, but always go back to our northstar, our Lighthouse to know our destination.