I’ve been running my business of film production for more than a decade. I never set out to be a business-type person. An elderly man at a bar once told me, like out of a movie, never to start a business; You’d just end up working for the people who work for you. He said it with so much resignation, tiredness in his voice. I have no idea who he was but those words have stuck to me for almost 20 years. If not heeded his advice.

When cancer struck, the business soldiered on. Thanks to the gumption and never-say-die attitude of the staff. Bless them. We switched and pivoted strategies. Marketed the business to be more than just me. And thrived well. I could focus on treatment and while I worried sometimes in the night about a shoot that went overtime, overspent; All in, we were fairly successful.

I’m back at the helm. Full steam ahead. Charging through and making up for lost time. At what cost? I still wake up at 3am to write treatments and pitches. Still worry about cash flow and staff motivation. Get home late after shoot or post and not get to tuck the kids to sleep. What has changed in lifestyle since my 20s and 30s that got me cancer in the first place.

Cancer was supposed to be a hard stop. A T brake at the crossroads. To go left would be to continue on the same destructive trajectory – bad food, stress, less sleep, no excercise, maybe even meaningless existence. To go right would be a rejection of that life. A choice to be made to be more aware and awake (Different from “Woke”), to make daily choices to be healthy and healthy to the extreme to combat the possibility of a recurrence. I might have taken the wrong route I’m afraid. But yes, it’s not too late to go back.

Why did I go left? The kids and wife? Legacy money? Is that really true?And at what cost.

This was not what I had in mind. I had hoped to connect with more people. Have meaningful, life changing, world-altering conversations and discussions. Create meaningful work that would be a legacy for the kids. Setup income streams that would continue long after I was gone. And above all, be present where they were. Every day. In the mundane moments and in the moments that where special. I might have lost sight of that a little and it’s time to recalibrate to the right path.

We cannot not ignore this inner life. Of prayer, meditation, deep breathing, conscious excercise, thought, awareness, reading so as to open that window to another world, cultivate your garden, it is said.

Good morning world. It’s never too late to realign to your true north.