There are days when I think I’ll live forever. Or at least for a long time. Then either someone I know dies of cancer or I read about a cancer death.

Today I saw a snippet of a film on Netflix. Notes to my son. It’s based off a book – Cards to my daughter from a woman who passed from Breast cancer. She had taken to writing cards to friends and her 4 year old daughter. On all her milestones. Much like how I had planned. On her death her husband published the book.

What’s poignant was how she was told she had two years to live and that the cancer had outsmarted the drugs.

How foolish and presumptuous am I to think that I’d be in the clear and that I could live normally. I really should be living like it’s my last day here. And if losing Warren, Chan, Caroline, Jaime is any indication at all, it’s that I have as much of a chance as anyone else to be very honest.

The hardest part is living with some urgency and Balancing it out with living in the moment abe being as present as possible.