When you know you have a limited time to live and yet not know exactly how long, you want to be able to maximize your time on this earth. Spending time with loved ones are at the top of the list. But there comes the pickle. There is also the issue of leaving a good enough nest egg for their future. LEaving behind recorded or written thoughts in different forms for them to consume in later years. Taking time and effort to keep oneself healthy and mentally “unstressed” if there ever was such a word. So make time. Be present. Make money. Make memories. Just thinking about how to juggle all these can cause stress.

So how do I go about it? How do I juggle all these balls with panache, grace, humor, a smile and a handy bible verse about God being there for me? I bumble and bungle my way through.

It has been one thing after another ever since I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer about 2 years ago. Dealing with treatment. Then an instant recurrence. More surgery and treatment. Then trying to see how to make sure the company will float. Then going through existential crisis whether or not I should continue the company in the first place. My business partner and friend leaving the company that sent me into another tailspin. Recalibrating and finding ways to stay afloat. All all this time still trying to find that balance between work/ money/ passion and life/ wife/ family.

We can read all the management books in the world. Download and use all the productivity apps around. Fill up multiple To-Do lists. And even then, not be able to find that center. Finding that center. Centre.